Methods of Manipulation

We've all encountered it: the carefully crafted narrative that leaves us feeling confused or uncertain. Manipulation is the art of influencing others without explicit consent, from the persuasive tactics of advertisers to the insidious whispers of propaganda. This article will delve into the famous tactics of manipulators, so beware!

Image from Procurious.

1.Gaslighting

• It is a classical form of psychological manipulation, in which a person seeks to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind by distorting reality and forcing them to question their judgment.

• The term "gaslighting" comes from the 1944 film, "Gaslight," in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she has a mental illness by dimming the light of their house. 

• Here you can watch an example of gaslighting: Link

2.Guilt-tripping

• It is a form of emotional manipulation where someone tries to make you feel guilty to control your actions or decisions. It's like being emotionally blackmailed, where your feelings of guilt are used as a weapon to get what the other person wants. This tactic can lead to other forms of manipulation, including:

  • Isolation is a powerful tool to control the victim’s mind by limiting the victim's access to outside influences, the manipulator can more easily exert their will and influence.  Making the victim feel guilty for seeing others and constantly monitoring their activities fosters anxiety and discourages independent behavior.

  • Playing the victim is a tactic that manipulators use to alter reality by portraying themselves as victims in a scenario. This strategy aims to control the other person’s thoughts by placing blame and inducing guilt.

  • The Silent Treatment is a manipulative tactic in which one person refuses to communicate, leaving the victim in a spiral of questions. It serves as a timeout for the manipulator to reject or isolate behaviors they dislike. It leaves the victim feeling guilty and trying to answer a series of what-ifs. 

    • This is an article on why the Silent Treatment is a bad parenting tool here!

3.Love Bombing: Don’t let your guard down just because someone is showering you with affection; they may be love-bombing you. This tactic often occurs at the beginning of a romantic relationship, where one person overwhelms the other with excessive displays of adoration. The initial stage of this tactic is commonly referred to as the honeymoon phase, as the intense feelings often begin to fade once this phase ends. 

The picture below is a simplification of the stages of love bombing: 

Source: Monarch Directory

4.Playing on Insecurities is a manipulative tactic where someone intentionally targets and exploits another person's vulnerabilities, fears, or self-doubts to gain control. This can influence other tactics, like:

• Shifting the Goalpost is a manipulative tactic where the terms of an agreement or task are constantly changed, making it impossible to achieve satisfaction or closure. Manipulators in relationships constantly change the rules. Just when you believe you've met their expectations, they subtly increase the bar. They play on their partner’s strive for perfection.

• Changing the Subject is Sometimes a natural part of the conversation, however, manipulators use it to undermine and control others. When the victim expresses themselves positively or receives validation, the manipulator abruptly shifts the conversation, preventing them from feeling good about themselves. They play on the victim’s self-esteem.

• Threats are considered emotional manipulation. the victim may receive threats of abandonment, withholding important things, or even self-harm. While self-harm threats should be taken seriously, it's crucial to maintain your boundaries and encourage the individual to seek professional help.

5.Smear Campaign is a deliberate attempt to damage someone's reputation by spreading misleading information about them. It is a form of character assassination that is often used to discredit or undermine someone's credibility, especially when they’re famous. 

Tips to avoid getting manipulated

Build Self-Awareness by:

• Identifying your vulnerabilities: Recognize your insecurities, fears, and past traumas that could be exploited. Keep them private until you fully trust the person!

• Developing self-confidence: Cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and believe in your judgment. Don’t let others' opinions shape your perspective. 

• Trusting your instincts: Pay attention to your gut feelings when something feels off. Guts tend to think faster than the mind.

• Questioning everything: Don't take things at face value. Analyze information and consider alternative perspectives.

• Looking for inconsistencies: Be aware of contradictions in the manipulator's words and actions.

Finally, understanding the tactics of manipulation is crucial for navigating the complexities of human interaction. By recognizing these behaviors, we can protect ourselves from their harmful effects and foster healthier relationships.

"Characterize people by their actions and their words will never fool you." Unknown.

Reference List

Cherry, K. (2023). What is a guilt trip? [online] Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-guilt-trip-5192249.

Gordon, S. (2022). Is someone gaslighting you? Learn the warning signs. [online] Verywell Mind. Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470.

Health, C. (2024). Here’s How to Deal With Manipulative People. [online] Charlie Health. Available at: https://www.charliehealth.com/post/how-to-deal-with-manipulative-people.

Holland, M. (2022). 17 Manipulation Tactics Abusers Use. [online] Choosing Therapy. Available at: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/manipulation-tactics/.

Sissons, B. (2023). What is familial manipulation, and how can a person respond to it? [online] Medicalnewstoday.com. Available at: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/family-manipulation#red-flags

The Times of India. Silent treatment from parents: The psychological implications on kids and why it should be avoided - Times of India. [online] Available at: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/toddler-year-and-beyond/silent-treatment-from-parents-the-psychological-implications-on-kids-and-why-it-should-be-avoided/articleshow/89563929.cms.

www.psychologytoday.com. Love Bombing | Psychology Today. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/love-bombing 

https://www.facebook.com/biiedwin8 (2024). Manipulation Techniques 101: Moving Goal Posts - Edwin Bii - Mind shifting coach & Hypnotherapist. [online] Edwin Bii - Mind shifting coach. Available at: https://www.biiedwin.com/posts/manipulation-techniques-101-moving-goal-posts/

Wikipedia. (2020). Smear campaign. [online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smear_campaign.