Comparison is a fundamental aspect of human nature– consciously or subconsciously, we find ourselves drawn to comparing ourselves with others, whether it’s regarding our appearance, academic achievements, abilities, etc. Despite our awareness of potential negative consequences, why are we inclined to do so? This article explores why we engage in such comparisons, shedding light on the psychological factors that drive this behavior.
Self-Evaluation and Personal Development
We humans have a natural desire to excel and achieve success; hence, comparisons can act as a measure of personal development. Using comparisons healthily could serve as powerful motivators that help set us up for success. For example, suppose you know your friend is excelling in their academics and achieving higher grades than you are. In that case, that can motivate you to study harder to get to their level when we observe the qualities and achievements of those around us, we gain insight into our strengths and weaknesses.
Societal Norms and Expectations
Conformity is a practice that most of us partake in; it is human nature to want to align our behavior according to society’s established norms. From a young age, we have been taught that success looks a certain way. But what if that isn’t your version of success? Or what if it is? However, an essential thing to note is that comparisons help benchmark ourselves against others to nurture personal growth, we must find success within instead of seeking external validation and recognition.
Insecurity and Self-Doubt
Unfortunately, comparisons can also stem from feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt; when we do not feel secure, we tend to want to compare and contrast with other people. This is because we want to be like them and focus on the qualities or achievements they possess that we don’t. Or conversely, we want to think, ‘at least I’m not as bad as them’. Through comparison, we are looking for answers through extrinsic sources.
Two Types of Comparisons
Comparisons can be healthy to some extent; however, they can be positive or negative in terms of their effects. People engage in two types of comparisons: upward or downward comparisons.
Upward comparisons refer to comparing yourself with those you believe are better than you. Conversely, in downward comparisons, you compare yourself to people worse off than you are. So, is it better to practice upward or downward comparisons? Unsurprisingly, studies show that downward comparisons make us feel better about ourselves. Upward comparisons often focus on our desire to strive to be better and elevate our current ability, achievement, or skill level. We might compare ourselves to look for ways we can achieve similar results; however, comparisons of this sort can also threaten our self-esteem and lead to low self-appraisal. On the other hand, downward comparisons can boost our self-esteem and ego– in the short term, that is. If individuals constantly compare themselves to those they deem less successful than them, this could prevent them from reaching their full potential, as they are satisfied with their current selves. Therefore, comparisons are a double-edged sword, regardless of their form. The impact depends on the individual’s mindset and the purpose behind the comparisons.
Dangers of Comparison
The commonly referenced quote ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ may be correct– by comparing our lifestyle, qualities, or successes to others, we will likely be less satisfied with our own. We become more likely to miss opportunities to find our uniqueness and potency and miss out on the joyous things life offers, whether small or big.
Negative comparisons can impact us in several ways:
Decreased Self-Esteem: When individuals feel as if they are falling short in comparison to others, they may feel a sense of inadequacy, and this may lead to a negative self-image
Increased Anxiety and Stress: Constant comparisons can be exhausting. The pressure to achieve and meet certain expectations can heighten stress levels and fuel anxiety in individuals.
Unhealthy Perfectionism: The drive to be perfect, to be enough, can be suffocating for specific individuals, especially if they set unrealistically high standards for themselves based on the qualities and achievements of others
Though there are advantages to comparisons, overall, it is said to negatively affect individuals’ mental health since it takes your time and attention away from seeing the good in yourself and causes you to focus on your flaws. Instead, you should be comparing your progress and success with none other than yourself– you should not rob yourself of your own life by wishing for another's.
Works Cited
Angela (2021). Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others – Mind, Body and Soul. [online] Mind, Body and Soul. Available at: https://wp.nyu.edu/mind/2021/02/27/why-do-we-compare-ourselves-to-others/ [Accessed 25 Dec. 2023].
King, A. (2021). The Comparison Grasp. [online] ASH KING. Available at: https://ashking.com.au/people/the-comparison-grasp/ [Accessed 25 Dec. 2023].
www.picnbooks.com. (n.d.). comparison | meaning in Picture Dictionary & Books. [online] Available at: https://www.picnbooks.com/pnb/word/view.do?id=2430&page=49 [Accessed 25 Dec. 2023].
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