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Contrary to popular belief, the concept of a “perfect life” does not exist. “Perfect” is a term often used to exaggerate things. Each person’s life is unique, so it is impossible to have a fixed “perfect life” model that we should all aspire to achieve. Each individual's perception of what determines a perfect life differs based on their unique experiences, values, and aspirations.
The psychology behind a “perfect life”
The psychology behind the concept of a "perfect life" revolves around our innate desire for happiness and fulfillment. As human beings, we often compare ourselves to others, especially in the age of social media, where people showcase their seemingly perfect lives. This constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, and a never-ending pursuit of an unattainable ideal.
Psychologists have identified a phenomenon called the "arrival fallacy," which refers to the belief that achieving specific goals or acquiring certain possessions will lead to ultimate happiness and fulfillment. However, research has shown that this mindset is flawed. The pursuit of external markers of success, such as wealth, fame, or material possessions, does not guarantee long-term happiness or satisfaction.
As Matt Haig said in The Midnight Library, “Every second of every day we are entering a new universe. And we spend so much time, wishing our lives were different, comparing ourselves to other people and to other versions of ourselves, when really most lives contain degrees of good and degrees of bad”.
We spend so much time, wishing our lives were different, that we forget to feel grateful for the things we have received in our lives. As the saying goes, regret is stronger than gratitude, and that perhaps explains why we look back at lives filled with regret instead of appreciation.
The Importance of Mindset: Appreciating Joy in Simplicity
Happiness is a feeling that's hard to describe with words. It's not just about being happy for a moment, but about feeling fulfilled and good about ourselves in a deeper way.
Some people think that happiness comes from having lots of material possessions like money. But actually, it's more about how we feel inside. The happiest person in the world wouldn't be defined by what they have, but by how content and peaceful they are. We all have things that we could lose, and that can make us sad, but true happiness isn't just about avoiding loss.
Happiness is influenced by many things, including how we think about ourselves, how we get along with others, and how we grow as individuals. It's not just about having things, but about feeling good about who we are and finding meaning in our lives.
Even when we face difficulties or lose something important, happiness is still possible. It's about being able to bounce back and find joy in the little things. Happiness is like a puzzle made up of different pieces, like appreciating what we have, being present and mindful, doing things that matter to us, and building positive relationships.
In short, happiness is more than just a fleeting emotion. It's about finding inner peace and contentment, regardless of what we have or what we might lose. By focusing on the things that truly matter and nurturing our well-being, we can cultivate a happier and more fulfilling life.
Another aspect of the psychology behind the concept of a "perfect life" is understanding that true joy and fulfillment often lie in the simple things. As the saying goes, "the simplest things in life are the most extraordinary." We often overlook the small moments of happiness and beauty that surround us in our pursuit of grand achievements or material possessions
As Paulo Coelho says in ‘The Alchemist’, “It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them”. We spend so much time trying to gain joy out of the complex things when, really, the simplest things present around us could offer us bundles of joy.
Conclusion
Perhaps one of the most important aspects of the psychology behind the concept of a "perfect life" is embracing imperfections and living in the present moment. Perfection is an illusion, and striving for an unattainable ideal can lead to chronic dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Instead, focusing on personal growth, self-acceptance, and finding joy in the journey can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
In conclusion, the psychology behind the concept of a "perfect life" is deeply rooted in our desires for happiness, fulfillment, and societal expectations. However, it is important to recognize that perfection is subjective and unrealistic. By cultivating gratitude, finding joy in the simple things, and embracing imperfections, we can create a more balanced and contented life. Remember, a perfect life exists in the present moment, where we appreciate what we have and strive for personal growth and fulfillment.
If you are interested in learning more about this topic , please click here to watch a video about human perfectionism!
Reference List
Coelho, P. (1993). The Alchemist. New York, Ny: Harpercollins Publishers.
Exploring Your Mind (2017). The Obsession for a Perfect Life. [online] Exploring your mind. Available at: https://exploringyourmind.com/obsession-perfect-life/ [Accessed 27 Feb. 2024].
Haig, M. (2020). The Midnight Library. New York, New York: Viking.
Wilson, V. (2023). The Arrival Fallacy: When Emptiness Follows Accomplishment. [online] Exceptional Futures. Available at: https://www.exceptionalfutures.com/the-arrival-fallacy/#:~:text=Coined%20by%20psychologist%20Dr.,is%20not%20grounded%20in%20reality. [Accessed 27 Feb. 2024].
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